An Apple a Day
January 5th, 2023
I just got home from my weekly meeting with my psychiatrist. How fortunate I am to have Dr. G. as my doctor! He has been with me for nearly 30 years, well more than half my life—a fact that astounds me. Today, we got caught up on our respective Christmas and New Year’s holidays, which had been joyous and relaxing for both of us.
I was able to express the fact that there wasn’t a single trigger during my visit with my whole family over the past week or so. This is incredibly impressive for me. As I describe in my book, my trips down to my brothers and their families leave me jealous, depressed and on occasion, psychotic. In fact, the quick trip earlier in November to celebrate American Thanksgiving returned me home with some depression. As a result, I was geared up for the onslaught.
But, there wasn’t anything. Not a mood turned down, a thought misplaced.
Today, we talked about the art of eating at the bar of a restaurant, rather than taking a table. You have a show in front of you, the barkeep bouncing and juggling drinks around, you catching her eye with a nod that says “when you’re ready, I am ready.” The people around you, exchanging comments and bits of conversation. Yes, the people watching! My mum and I had a lovely evening like that, on our drive down to Princeton.
Dr. G and I got through the basics at the start of our appointment. He took notes on me, judged my speech speed and patterns, my body posture, and the ability to look him straight in the eye. Other things, for sure, but those are the obvious ones, or at least the ones I can imagine. Once he got everything down on paper, he put it aside for a while, enjoying, instead, a conversation with me that brought us from the joy of seeing siblings to that meal in the brasserie and to the sequel of a movie that fell short of our expectations. It was a quick 45 minutes, and it set me up for another great week. His words to me, words of comfort and validation, possibility and hope, give me great tools and confidence to go out in the world and be absolutely okay.
My mum might say on occasion, “Is that all you two do, talk about movies?” And you know, she is right. Dr. G. and I can spend our entire time together just talking about movies. And, you know, sometimes that can be just as healing as an hour balancing my mood and thoughts through psychotherapy or med changes. Today, I feel confident, and I know there is an important person out there who truly believes in me. What a feeling!